I haven’t felt myself lately. Today I almost stepped out in front of a car. I couldn’t I didn’t even think how the driver would feel. But thats been how I’ve been. Uncaring, cold and not much time for people. I feel scared I have never been this depressed before. I have racing thoughts all day that help make me feel nuts. Constant pain is also giving it weight.

I need to see a doctor soon. I think I’ll tell them the truth. Even if they put me in the psych ward again. I think what ever happens I’ll live. I just don’t know how much more crazy I’m gonna feel/be.

I’m gonna try kip it’s late.